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Old 17-01-2012, 12:08 PM   #1
Barrett Dorko
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Default The Buckeye Pillow

To say the least, I have had a great deal of difficulty selling the ideas discussed here to other therapists. In fact, I think I may have driven several away.

So, today I want to change my approach and go with what the therapy culture wants – magic. (I think I may have written a bit about this)

Here we go:

Introducing The Buckeye Pillow!

As pictured below, this is an amazingly life-like, clinically proven, hypoallergenic, comfort-designed sleep aid that is guaranteed to alter your intellect in time for 21st century therapy practice.

I have authorized several advertising experts to provide their ideas regarding this new product and you’ll see their pitches below.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • Ron Popiel: The most amazing invention of the 21st century! I’m not going to sell you this for the perfectly reasonable price of $400 or $300 or even $200, but for just 4 easy payments of…

  • Richard Simmons: I love you so much that I want you to know about this amazing product.

  • Generic Evangelist: This is a bequest from beyond, but using it, well, It not gonna be eazy!!! It’s free with your lifetime subscription to our mailing list. Donations are gratefully accepted. Please just give from your heart.

  • Don Draper: This isn’t a dog pillow, it’s an introduction to your dreams; it’s a repository of genetically endowed and unconscious genius. It is instinct in a soft, furry package – and it’s naturally warm.

See a winner here? Any ideas of your own?
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Old 17-01-2012, 12:17 PM   #2
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I'm allergic to dogs.
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Old 17-01-2012, 12:21 PM   #3
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5th line, 12th word.
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Old 17-01-2012, 12:50 PM   #4
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Deepak Barnes "Its healing energy field will stimulate and align your innate self-correcting powerful fascial pathways! Peyton Manning started using one this year!"

Dr. Andrew Hamerhoff "The subtle but powerful quantum vibrations will provide your neurophysiology, specifically your amygdala, with the ability to correct most, if not all of the disease and illness of the modern western culture. It also stimulates the natural excretion of all the harmful toxins!"
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Old 17-01-2012, 01:14 PM   #5
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I need to thank Jon Newman for inspiring this post. He's also free to split all the proceeds from sales.

When I teach I use this image to promote various ideas conveyed by Buckeye telepathically (see below).

Someone once asked if she told me things in the usual way. I said, "Of course not, she's a dog. Gheeesh."
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Old 17-01-2012, 01:35 PM   #6
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I felt this thread fit here.
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Old 17-01-2012, 05:49 PM   #7
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Can I order one of these pillows??!!
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Old 17-01-2012, 06:38 PM   #8
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Just now Jon Newman (my agent) is dealing with a small group of artisans in Wisconsin who have agreed to begin production. I’ll let you know how that goes.

I’m also working on this disclaimer.

Quote:
The use of The Buckeye Pillow may result in dreams deemed strange and Gary Larson-like, a compulsion to write and jonesing for ranch dressing.

Use at your own risk.
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Old 17-01-2012, 07:28 PM   #9
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Such pillows require a certain amount of maintenance. That should be made clear in tiny print somewhere, maybe on a label that says, do not remove.
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Old 17-01-2012, 07:46 PM   #10
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I understand that these will be manufactured in the USA (well, an American protectorate in the South Pacific and that labeling them thus is perfectly legal - there, anyway).

We are negotiating with a chicken farm in the Midwest for stuffing.
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Old 17-01-2012, 07:53 PM   #11
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Jon's chickens I presume?
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"Rene Descartes was very very smart, but as it turned out, he was wrong." ~Lorimer Moseley

“Comment is free, but the facts are sacred.” ~Charles Prestwich Scott, nephew of founder and editor (1872-1929) of The Guardian , in a 1921 Centenary editorial

“If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you, but if you really make them think, they'll hate you." ~Don Marquis

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Old 17-01-2012, 10:07 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barrett Dorko View Post
I need to thank Jon Newman for inspiring this post. He's also free to split all the proceeds from sales.
Given your sales ability I'm afraid I'd end up owing you. And I already owe you enough.
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Old 17-01-2012, 10:15 PM   #13
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FUNNY, Jon - very.
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Old 18-01-2012, 02:13 AM   #14
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Well Jon, you know how charming I can't can be.

I need Don Draper's charisma, but I can't seem to generate it. I think you have to be born with it.
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Old 18-01-2012, 05:49 AM   #15
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I didn't see any thing here about the pillow restoring natural rhythms.
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Old 18-01-2012, 05:56 AM   #16
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If Buckeye were a big cat, there would be purring to promote. Purring for sure lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, restores homeostasis, all that cool stuff.
So I hope you include a cat pillow too.
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Old 18-01-2012, 01:16 PM   #17
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Cat pillows are Jason's department.

Anyway, cats apparantly think quite a lot of themselves and would be far more operator than interactive. The purring distracts us from that. In this manner they get away with stuff dogs never would.

Just Buckeye's opinion.
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Old 18-01-2012, 04:05 PM   #18
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Did somebody say cat pillow??
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Old 18-01-2012, 05:04 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barrett Dorko View Post
Cat pillows are Jason's department.

Anyway, cats apparantly think quite a lot of themselves and would be far more operator than interactive. The purring distracts us from that. In this manner they get away with stuff dogs never would.

Just Buckeye's opinion.



Haha! quite true.

But the purring has "worked" for me over the decades, and they smell better, and their fur feels a lot nicer. Although their claws do not. And there would still be that sticky issue with allergens. The hairless cats wouldn't work as well, I'm sure.
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"Rene Descartes was very very smart, but as it turned out, he was wrong." ~Lorimer Moseley

“Comment is free, but the facts are sacred.” ~Charles Prestwich Scott, nephew of founder and editor (1872-1929) of The Guardian , in a 1921 Centenary editorial

“If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you, but if you really make them think, they'll hate you." ~Don Marquis

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Old 18-01-2012, 05:50 PM   #20
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I think the effect of purring fits well into the "sound like touch at a distance" thread, wherever that is.

Please remember that many, many terrible people have a way of speaking we all find compelling. Some would say that cats exploit this.

Not me, of course.
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